Loss

We huddled in the cave for what felt like eternity. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t actually very long. Tornados don’t generally sit in one place for more than a few minutes, but it really didn’t feel like a few minutes. Then again, keeping track of time was the last thing on my mind.

At some point Nandi must have come into the cave with us. I have no memory of it. He may have been inside before we came in. I don’t know. But at some point I realized there was another warm body pressed against my side, and the spiky bristles of his shorn mane were prickling my neck. It was oddly centering; a tiny piece of normality in the middle of a howling nightmare.

Eventually the wind died down and we got up the courage to move. Nandi moved off to look out the cave entrance, and I slowly unhinged my stiff limbs from around poor Eyani. The poor little guy was looking thoroughly squashed, but he didn’t seem to notice. He looked up at me as if he was expecting the cave to come crashing down on top of us. His pupils kept dilating and contracting like a confused pair of camera lenses. I bumped his forehead and it seemed to help; his ears relaxed, and he let out a funny little huffing snort. Then his eyes tracked up to my cheek and he flattened his ears again.

“What is this?” he asked, sniffing up at me.

I felt at my cheek and realized the cut I’d gotten earlier had left a mess of crusted blood down the side of my face. I was so scrambled by everything that happened that it took me a minute to realize why he was concerned.

“Your blood is green,” I said. “My blood is red.”

His eyes grew huge and he stared at me for a long, long time as if I’d grown a second head. I wondered if he was suddenly registering just how very alien I am to this world. It made me feel lonely.

“Tee is hurt?” he finally asked.

I smiled at him and bumped his forehead again. “No,” I said.

We made our way after Nandi to the entrance and my stomach lurched. The sun was still up, but the smoke and ash and dust in the air made everything feel smothered and hazy. There was a huge, winding path of ground in front of the cliff face that was completely littered with debris; twisted, shattered pieces of wood, broken bits of rocks, whole shrubs, roots and all, flung everywhere. Even the grass that had managed to stay rooted looked warped. Everything was covered in a fine layer of grey ash. There was less burned than I had feared, though. Perhaps the fire wasn’t able to catch well at such high speeds. There were areas of grass that were clearly smoldering, and some of the broken logs had red coals glowing balefully from their centers. Gusts of smoke kept billowing in on the wind, carried from the larger fire on the plain.

It was incredibly disturbing. This wasn’t D’Keda as I’d come to know it; this broken, horrible mess. Then I began to register the cries in the air, and the disturbing factor went through the roof.

Amidst the ash and twisted debris were shapes, bodies.

Eyani disappeared out from under my arm and vanished down the hill. I scrabbled to follow him, but Nandi was suddenly grasping my arm. I looked up at him, confused.

“Many hurt. We must find them,” he said. He looked absolutely haunted. I nodded and we touched foreheads in a feeble attempt to rally our courage.

As we made our way down the cliff I could see others of the clan heading down into the wreckage as well. The cries of pain began to mingle with cries of horror and anguish. My throat closed and I felt like a lead weight was squeezing down on my chest. I had a sudden horrible image of Kohric lying dead flash through my head; I shuddered. He had to be safe. They all had to be safe. Please.

Without really any planning, the entire clan fanned out of its own accord. There was a kind of unspoken nervousness that coursed through them. The sun was starting to set, and I knew they were afraid of it growing dark before everyone was accounted for.

Nandi and I trotted out into the grass that bordered the beach, ears pricked for voices calling for help. Several trees had been downed, a few completely thrown or twisted into pulp. One was neatly severed down the middle where it had been shoved up against a boulder.

We come to the edge of the damaged area without finding anything, and we swung around to follow the other side of it back to the caves. I was almost beginning to think things may not be as bad as I’d feared when Nandi suddenly stopped abruptly in front of me, sending me sprawling into his hindquarters. I heard him exhale sharply; he let out a horrible little whimpering moan. I looked over his head and felt my blood freeze.

Oshtik.

She was a little, huddled pale lump on the ground, dusted with ash. No, my brain said immediately. This wasn’t what it looked like. No, no! She was sleeping, she’d been knocked unconscious; she was too hurt to walk. My eyes slid over the pointed slice of wood buried between her shoulders, and I found myself stumbling toward her.

This couldn’t be happening. This could not be happening. My mind refused to accept what was in front of me. No, no, no! This was a nightmare. This couldn’t possibly be real. This was a research mission. It wasn’t supposed to be this way! This could not be happening!

I sank down to my knees in front of her, my hands clutched at my chest. I know I was moaning, sobbing, but it didn’t feel like they belonged to me. I was alone with my grief. I rocked back and forth, shaking my head. Tears were streaming down my face, down my chin. They made little damp pills in the ash around Oshtik’s cooling body. I kept wondering when I would wake up, praying I would wake up, and that this was all a horrible nightmare.

But the sun continued to set, and Oshtik was still dead.

I wailed my grief to the burgeoning stars.

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I realized too late that the last two entries parallel real events in the midwestern US. I just wanted to make it clear that this was unintentional. This plot turn was planned over a year ago. Apparently I have terrible timing.